Joker – Fan Dub

Joker – Fan Dub

Roles

Jonny Frost

Joker

Monty

Riddler

Killer Croc

Batman

Bar tender

Penguin.

Tommy Bang Bang

Thug 1

Shelly

Guy: (with two lines)

Bartender

Harvey Dent/Two-face

Prison Cop

DIRTY COP:

Carl:

Old women:

(City back ground noises, some sort of depressing slow music, city noises get louder as it zooms closer, Internal monologs will be in italics, just for my voice editing purposes)

JONNY: (internal monolog, maybe add a echo) The news, when it came, spread from the back alleys to the social clubs…. through rooms were everything you’d ever want was for sale….to the confessionals where it was all paid for. It spread like wildfire—or more aptly put—a disease.

(stirp club back ground, hooting, music, all that stuff)

GUY: Someone’s gotta go get’m Monty.

MONTY: Okay. Who?

JONNY: If no one else got the stones….I’ll do it.

MONTY: Huh…..be my guest

(Key’s hitting hand)

JONNY: He was a disease that somehow, with the help of god or the devil—pick your poisons—had convinced his doctors he wasn’t diseased anymore the news speead. I don’t know the particulars—-still don’t as to why,

(Rust gate opening, foot steps getting closer, sort of creepy/clownish dark music.)

JONNY:  but he was…The Joker was being released from Arkham asylum.  Have to admit seein’ him in person for the frist time. I felt the instinctual ‘’clench’’ you know: ‘down there’

(strike of lighting)

JONNY: but then. He saluted the city…..which put my mind—among other things—at ease.

JONNY:Ah…I’m here to..ah, pick you up.

JOKER: And who are you?

JONNY: Monty sent me……My names Jonny. Jonny Frost.

(silence, cut to car, some sort of music still in the background)

JOKER: Jonny Jonny Frost. Let me ask you a question…do you have a gun?

JONNY: Yes sir…you need it?

JOKER: Huh—wow. Jonny Jonny I think I like you. Let me have it.

(gun being handed off)

JOKER: See that car, there? The men in that car have guns too…

JONNY: You know who they are?

JOKER: Thugs, certainly cops….maybe, you are here to pick me up well….they are here to put me down. Open your trunk.  That shovel. You have?

JONNY: How’d you—

JOKER: Wrap it in the blanket and hand it to me.

(wrapping sound)

JOKER: Thank you. I’ll ride shotgun.

JONNY: The men with guns followed us at a respectful distance away from arkham and acrss the Wayne bridge, when we turned west, and they kept going north…They blinked…and he giggled, or he cleared the phlegm out of his throat. It was hard to tell. There was aplace he wanted to stop at—place that for anyone who went there. Id heard was the stopping place. By that I mean, like, end  of the road.

(two knocks on metal door)

THUG: Who’s there?

JOKER: Joe

(metal slider)

THUG: Joe wh—

(gasp)

JOKER: Jonny Jonny…you look nervous.

JONNY: I Do? I don’t mean to…I mean…I’m sorry

JOKER: Here. Little less nervous? A bit of advice…..don’t ever apologize to no one for the way you look

KILLER CROC: Joker…I head you was gettin’ out….tell me….how’d you manage that?

JOKER: Ah….no.

KILLER CROC: So what brings you ‘round here?

JOKER: Croc, c’mon…I always like to see you

KILLER CROC: Why’s that?

JOKER: You make me feel handsome

KILLER CROC: heh…You want inta the game?

JOKER: I do, I do, but…

(turning out pockets sound)

KILLER CROC: Heh. Head that, too. No Respect shown, while you where away. You broke?

JOKER: Nothing we can’t fix

KILLER CROC: heh. So what needs fixin’?

JOKER: Fixn’s….those are side dishes…you hungry?

KILLER CROC: Always

JOKER: How ‘bout some rabbit?

KILLER CROC: NNNRRR….heh heheheheh

(Room breaks out into laughter)

JONNY: ‘No respect shown while you was away…’ amen brother. My name is Jonny frost. You don’t know me, but all my life, I know you would. That I’d do somthin’—be—somebody—that you’d know, and take notice. A big man. Front row seats, nice suits, my own booth at the toniest restaurant in town. Somebody. Not some two-bit hood, hustling’ small potatoes wouldn’t satisfy a starvin’ Irishman

(busy strip club quites down, as Joker and men walks inside)

MONTY: Well look who it is….welcome home, boss.

(single drink being poured in the back ground)

JOKER: Monty. Its been what? At least—

MONTY: –Too long! And no time to talk about that—we gotta celebrate

JOKER:  We do? What’s the occasion?

MONTY: Yer out—huh?

JOKER: I am. Ha.

MONTY: Drink?

JOKER: Yeah

(drinking/shot taking sound)

JOKER: ‘Nother.

(cheering and music starts up again)

JONNY: I have been to some parties in my day…but this…was one hell of a party. It wasn’t just off the hook…it tore the hook off the wall…and the wall off the house. It was all about respect. The kind I wanted.

(Some sort of twisted Harley Quinn theme song)

MONTY: You feelin’ good?

JOKER I’m feelin’.

MONTY: Good. So why’d you bring the animals with ya?

JOKER: I’ll admit that croc has a certain…eccentric way with evidence, but that doesn’t make him a…ooh… you said animals Monty, we should talk about whats happened while I’ve been away. I know you’d rarther wait for tomorrow , gut I’m antsy

MONTY: I don’ wan’ you that way boss.

JOKER: I know.

JOKER: Jonny?

JONNY: Yeah?

JOKER: In your pocket…you have a dollar.

(money being handed off)

JONNY: Off the name side of the city, man. Joker, free. And me. Jonny Frost—a name you know now. I’m not what I was—I’d signed that away on the dotted line…a salute to my past forget that, I was part of one hell of a part, I was—

BARTENDER: Jesus h-

(music stops, people gasping and panicking, wet squishy blood sounds, spanking sound, loud bloody thud)

KILLER CROC: Heh

(some sort of soft dramatic music)

JOKER: friends….I’m, very, very distressed. You can see it in my face I’m sure. When it went away, I thought I was leaving my city in capable hands, but I seems other hands have taken it from me. And you know what these other hand sdid? They lossened the belt around their fat waists, and took a dump in my city….my sand box…mine…gotham belongs to me. So who here…

(Shocked gasps, some chuckles)

JOKER: Who wants to help me take it back

JONNY: I do. Jonny dose.

(Cutaway scene, busy street, phone ringing, coin spinning in fingers)

DENT: Yes?….no…god, no.

JOKER: You’re sweating Jonny…

(city streets, car driving)

JONNY: Huh? I am?…I’m a little hung over

JOKER: We did hang the cats out to dry last night didn’t we?  I woke up with that not-so-fresh feeling myself. You should have told me you were in the same straits… Here, stick these in your hole

(pills in bottles being shaken)

JONNY: Joker, I can’t take pills—

JOKER: —Why? They fix things, I’ve lived on them for years. Years. Yeas pills pills pills. They pry open your mind with fingers and….are you saying yer better than me!

JONNY: (nervously) no!— I can’t swallow them ‘em dry.

JOKER: Oh…here. Hair of the dog. Harley….Sweet. I’ll be right back

(city streets, foot steps)

JONNY: Sweating…? Yeah, I was sweating like a Nun in a sauna, and booze had nothing to do with it. Joker was broke. All the cash, all his holdings his territory…everything he had—was gone. Divvied up, by men who though they’d seen him for the last time. So yeah, I was sweating

PRIZON COP: Jonny Frost?

JONNY: Six Months ago, I got out of the joint for the fifth time. It is, like they say; the first bid is the worst. But make no mistake…its just the frist. So I made a promise instand, the firth was my last. Too much of my life was spent behind bars. Too much

JONNY: Shelly….Changed yer mind about me, baby?

SHELLY: Back off, Jonny

JONNY: C’mon shel…fer ol’ times’ sake

SHELLY:… for old times. The divorce papers.

JONNY: Huh. Shouda sent yer lawyer

(Slap!)

SHELLY: I can’t afford a lawyer you sonofabitch!….look Jonny..it’s best for the best of us.

JONNY: I sign and there ain’t no us. what about the kids?

SHELLY: Jesus…Now you’re concerned about’em…Please…just sign the papers so I can get you out of here

JONNY: If I do…will you give me a ride back into the city?

(flash back ends, back to city busyness, foot steps getting closer to the car)

JONNY: here he comes….

(gun being loaded)

JONNY:….alone

(Car door opening)

JOKER: Drive. Jonny.

JONNY: How’d it go?

(car starts driving)

JOKER: Good—not great. But Good. Boring…the alarm wasn’t tripped and nobody died. Maybe next time. Get rid of this.

JONNY: What the hell….?

JOKER: It’s a picture of the bank presidents daughter

JONNY: Ah….bird’s and bees. Honey?

JOKER: Are you kiddin’ me….(long set of laughter) Heh heh. Of course. I am  I dig driving people Jonny….drive me.

(car speeds off)

JONNY: And dirve I did. ‘cause one thing I got—is drive. First to a sporting goods store, of all places didn’t take joker for much of a sportsman but hell…every man needs a hobby.

(harbor sounds,)

JONNY: You ain’t gonna catch much with that..

JOKER: Really? I think I should use sugar instead

(clam and rarther pleasant sound, car slowly pulling up)

JONNY: Someone’s coming…

JOKER: Yes…I have an appointment…

(struggled huffing sound)

JOKER: Croc….can you be nice?

CROC: No…no Joker. I can’t.

PENGUIN: That bastard is a monster.

JOKER can’t you be the bigger man, Abner?…Sit.

PENGUIN:….Good to see you.

JOKER: Can’t stands me a lair abner

PENGUIN: We heard you where released. No one can figure how…

JOKER: Well…I’m not crazy anymore…just mad I’ve lost control of gotham Abner…can’t stands that either.

PENGUIN: Control? What makes you think ever had that?

JOKER: Feel my muscle….not this one. That one.

PENGUIN: (pain, gasping for air noise/penguin panicing)

JOKER: Show him what’s in the bag, Jonny. You know what that is, Abner?

PENGUIN: (more pained gasing for air)

JOKER: Exactly—not enough. But its all I have. I’d like you to invest it for me. Looking for a high yield, say, ten times as much. Quick turn-around, too. You can do?

PENGUIN: (gasping pain)

JOKER: All I ask,  is that you try. But I have confidence in you—as businessman, a facilitator…there’s not a nickel changes hands in gotham don’t have a greasy print form you fat sausages on it. Yum yum, huh croc? We have a deal abner?

(hand shaking)

JOKER: Thank you

PENGUIN: (gasping for air)

JOKER: Abner…

PENGUIN: (throwing up)

JOKER: You’re scaring the fish…

JONNY: Now that—abso-posi-lutley- was how I wanted to roll. Jonny Frost—makin’ his enemies do what he wanted ‘em to. Ta hell with what they wanted. Joker had me take him an’ his lady back to thief crib. As they where getting out of my ride, he asked me if there was anything at my own I had to have. I hesitated to answer—he gave me a squeeze and stressed that—only what you have t’have—then walk away. I said sure. I understood I would be stayin’ with him now. My mistake was hesitatin’.

DIRTY COP: You pull  that…I’ll drop you where you stand scumbag.

JONNY: You must be a cop.

DIRTY COP: Why must I be?

JONNY: ‘cause only cops call people scumbags. People refer to people by other words.

DIRTY COP: Ex-wives don’t

JONNY: You can tell Shelly—

DIRTY COP: Relax, Jonny. I’m no here on that scag’s behalf. We both know child support only comes when one’s supportin’ one’s self right? Right. Yer runnin’ with the wrong crowd, kid.

JONNY: Am i?

DIRTY COP: I just said you were

JONNY: What?—that’s it?

DIRTY COP: No—you got a refistation for that piece yer carryin?

JONNY: i…

DIRTY COP: Just playin’. See you next time.

JONNY: I took nothing. I walked away light as a feather.. on top of the world.

(feight night city noises, car driving)

JONNY: It’s all set up, Joker. Tommy Bang Bang will meet with us. though—if you don’t mind me saying–letting him know we’re coming could mean we’re walking into a step up.

(Gun getting loaded)

JOKER: I don’t mind you saying that Jonny. Sometimes, I need to hear the obvious….now is not one of those times though…look out the window Jonny Jonny…tell me what you see.

(Faint night city noises)

JONNY: I see lights.

JOKER: lights? Hehe hahhahaha those lights? They’re just pin pricks….in the dark…he’s out there….You know that Jonny? Right on the other side of this window. Watching me. Lets go to work. Work. I got into this business to avoid it. There’s the rub—it is a business. You never know it, at first—gettin’ that free taste in the alley choking whores for milk money.

(shop door opening, back ground noise of a restaunt)

JOKER: Tommy…. Bang bang!

TOMMY BANG BANG: C’mon in, Joker….have a seat. You hungry? The scampi is—

(eating scampi sound, chewing)

TOMMY BANG BANG: Wine?

JOKER: Waaa….i want what’s mine back

TOMMY BANG BANG: Hehe, that’s good—yer a funny guy—I don’t care what anyone else says

JOKER: You should care about what I say. Bang Bang

TOMMY BANG BANG: I Do…i do look—Joker. When you went down, things…it wasn’t my call, but I took a piece.

JOKER: You would have been a fool  not to.

TOMMY BANG BANG: Yeah…yeah! I got the garbage on the eastside. An’ shake downs too. That’s all its yers again. I was just keepin it warm.

(gun loading click)

TOMMY  BANG BANG: Here’s your cut

JOKER: I’d like our crew to run it for me still. They can be trusted. Right? Cuz I get a whiff of skimmin’ it’s like my boogers are turned into sh—

TOMMY BANG BANG: –You ain’t gonna smell boo from us.

JOKER: Ten for you. Five for yer guys.

TOMMY BANG BANG: That’s very generous.

JOKER: A good job deserves a livable wage, no?……Man…I love shrimp

(out side foot steps)

JONNY: That when pretty good, huh, boss?

JOKER: Did it? Start the car Jonny…I gotta go back in…I forgot to do something

(door opening)

JOKER: Tommy?

(two bang, gun shots)

JOKER: Ten percent is now off the table. Five—for the time being—still stands, gentleman…

(shop door opening, foot steps, some kind of dramtic music)

JOKER: Hmm…not enough for you..huh? Need me for more dirty work? I admit. I aimed low.

(gun going in mouth, click of an empty hand gun)

JOKER: (hysterical laughter)

JONNY:I don’t know what he was thinking..or if he even was. Joker I was suppose enjoyed the…work? Even took pride in it, like an artist. Not that I know from art. But as another saying goes…’’I know what I  like’’ and I was likin’ Well not so much beginning. Over the next several days a number of gothams mid-level bosses turned up face down…others never turned up again. And for the first time in my life, Jonny first knew where  all the bodies where buried. That kinda power, by the short hairs.

JONNY: Croc—lets go.

KILLER CROC: Eh? I’m not done eatin’.

JONNY: yes—brother—you are

KILLER CROC: No BITCH I ain’t

JONNY: (gasping for air between words) Croc…don’ do this—you know who I work for…

KILLER CROC: You serious? You think you a worker? Dam…you got no idea, do ya? I’m workin’ you.

(small ripping in cloths)

KILLER CROC: Hang tight. We leave when I say I’m done. That be coo’ wit’ the man?

JOKER: You’re late.

KILLER CROC: That a problem?

JOKER: No. not at all. I just got here myself…I though I kept  you waiting

KILLER CROC: Hehehehehe man.

JOKER: Jonny Jonny Frost…you look bothered…something eating you?

JONNY: Nothing boss. Nothing is eating me.

(foot steps)

JONNY: There was something about joker..it was like he could see everything you where thinkin’ written across yer mug as plain as day…or maybe it was more like he made you  think the way he wanted you to. He wanted me to tell him about Croc’s lack of respect, I was sure of it…that, or he  wanted to see what type of guy I was. I’m not that type of guy. Don’t get me wrong. I had my place and croc had his…he just had to learn where that was. The guy was all muscle, no finesse. Now, sure, muscle means smoothing, and it can take a body.far… but never into the back room. That was for finesse players only.

(put right music and sound for the inside of a boxing club)

JOKER: Hello there, abner.

PENGUIN: Joker. Take a seat.

JOKER: Okay…hmmmm..yours looks nice…gut up

PENGUIN: (gasp)

JOKER: I’m kidding…why’s everybody so on edge tonight.

PENGUIN: That might have something to do with your actions of late. Someone is very sore at you

JOKER: Really? That’s wonderful news. I just live to make him sore. Its what drags me out of bed.

PENGUIN: No, not him. Though I’m certain he’s not very happy about what you’ve been up to either. I’m speaking of  Dent.

JOKER: Harvey’s mad? Which one?

PENGUIN: Ha!

JOKER: You think that’s funny abner?

PENGUIN: I think it’s a fair question. I don’t know how to answer it…

JOKE: Well let me tell you how , because I know psychosis like the back of my hand…Harveys head…it’s a brad new sports car—or a beater, depending on how you look at it. And this car. It has two owners—not very creative owners either—sicnce they couldn’t come up with separate goddam names when the opportunity presented its self. So which one is pissed off at me.

PENGUIN:….I don’t know

JOKER: No? Okay. I’ll call him, find out.

PENGUIN: He won’t take your call

JOKER: What was that?

PENGUIN: I mean, I don’t think he will.

JOKER: Well…one  Harvey probably won’t…I might get lucky and get the other one.

(fire burning in back ground, phone ringing)

JOKER: Hmm….Hmm hmm hmm. Well…Thats…not normal. I hope Harveys all right.

JONNY: Heh.

JOKER: No, Heh, Jonny Jonny—Harvey—He’s a guy, normally takes  call…’cuase he’s got a thing about being called on…his face…complexion…..confidence issues. I feel bad for him….Half the time…

(phone getting crushed)

JOKER: All right All right!…Haverys…You want to be tough guys about this? Fine. Fine. Long as I know what the rules are, I can Make ‘em up! As I go along!

(glasses being smashed, alcohol smashing)

KILLER CROC: What the hell you doin’

JOKER: Isn’t anyone listening to what I have to say?

THUG: We should go…is a episode (whispering)

JOKER: Nonono—don’t go!—have a drink. C’mon huh? Huh?

(glass smashing into face, and then bond crunching, glass being forced into face area)

JOKER: Two against one, eh, Harveys? That’s the way you want to play gotham? Okay, okay then

(match spraking)

JOKER: Boys—We should go

(foot steps, large exposition and fire)

JONNY: Why he did then. What he did. Made sense to nobody there. Nobody but me when I was a kid. My scumbag stepfather once—only once—took us camping. I’d never been out in the woods before, and I hadn’t been there since, really. But the time with my stepfather, I caught a toad. And I took him home in a box. I fed him bugs that I’d catch…roaches mostly, since that’s what we had, mostly. After it rained, id take him up on the roof of our bulding too. Seein’ it was outside, I figured he’d like to hop around up there, and I think he really did. I like to think that. But this one time…there were older kids up there. And they saw what I had…and they said they were going to throw my toad off the roof. And they were, I knew it., and I also knew I couldn’t let them do that. To me. So I did it my self. After, I went down to the street to find it. I looked every where…but I never did.

(Future Charlie, put effects in where they go, idoit)

DIRTY COP: How’s the food here Frost?

JONNY: S’Good…I didn’t order a side of bacon though.

DIRTY COP: Ha. That’s a good one. Guess the clowny is rubbin’ off on you.

JONNY: I don’ know what yet talkin’ about.

DIRTY COP: Frankly I don’ give a rats ass what you know…I know a man though that does Jonny’s finished missy and lat for a meeting.

JONNY: I went with the cop, it’s best, I’ve found, to do what they say when they’re around. I had no idea though… I was throwing myself off the edge.

HAVEY DENT: Mister Frost….i can’t tell you it’s a pleasure to meet you….circumstances won’t allow that.

JONNY: I’m, ah…sorry they ain’t different, Mr.Dent.

HARVEY: ….What if they were…could they be?…maybe. You know you are involved with a sick man who will see you die? He will stand over your body with your blood on is hands and I promise you he will laugh….not because your life means nothing to him—but because death. For him—is the punch line. A very  sick man. A disease, that this city can’t afford to catch again. Do you understand what I’m telling you?

JONNY: I don’t understand why you are…

HARVEY: I’m hoping , mister frost. That you will. When the time comes. For som reason the sick man trusts you we’d like to as well.

JONNY: I don’t remember leaving Harvey Dents office. I must’ve walked. My legs ached from walking.walked , and kept walking….all the way to the top of the world. I stayed there all day. Just…stayed. Too long. I don’t know why. Maybeit was because…it was the last place I wanted to be.

JOKER: You’re late.

JONNY: That a problem?

(groin kick to Jonny, so some sort of pained grunt is in order)

JOKER: Jonny Jonny…I don’t have any problems. None at all, Zip, Ziltch, Nada, unless…wait—are you sayin…that yer my problem>

JONNY: No..*cough*…no, Joker I was just kidding.

JOKER: Oh…..well so was I then.

KILLER CROC: Joker—yer appointment. He’s here.

JOKER: Right on time too. Show the problem child in, Croc.

(Two cars driving in slowly)

JONNY: Joker.  You…expect some trouble out of this guy?

JOKER: No ,but I do expect you to Jonny. That’s why I keep you around.

(limping with cane walk)

JOKER:Hola Edward

RIDDLER: Joker

(8 gun’s clicking ready to fire)

RIDDLER: Hmm.. When the worlds is against you. Where’s the safest place to hide?

JOKER: Hmm. I’m…..stumped hehehehehehehehe. I don’t get you, Edward. Yer motivations—you’re wise. But your why’s are completely lost on me. Strange how that sounds isn’t it. You might call it puzzling

(walking around, handing brief case off, maybe some music from plup fiction I don’t know, its future Charlie’s problem)

RIDDLER: What do you plan to do with that?

JOKER: My business.

RIDDLER: Ah. Getting everyone’s attention.

JOKER: I could care less about anyone else’s…how did you acqure—

RIDDLER: It was supposed to be impossible to steal….so I stole it. Let’s do this again

(limping away, getting into car)

JOKER: Edward—if I were you—I’d get out of town.

RIDDLER: Joker if I were you—

JOKER: —you’d know that the safest plae to hide….is in stainty.

(Big long internal monologue from Jonny, Put sound effects in there when editing, too lazy to write them down)

(cars driving face, back ground slight cheering)

JONNY: The deal with The Riddler went off with out a hitch…that is, if you don’t count the one in his hip. That had put Joker in a good mood. Which was good for everyone I’d realized his mood was like the weather…It had that type of persuasive effect on everyone it touched. Sunn days ahead, right? Turned out to be just the calm before the storm

JONNY: (uzi fire in the back ground, car wheels skreeaching)When it hit—and goddamn did it hit—I through I was dead if not fer the noise—shattering and ringing in my ears, I would have bet I was. I would have lost that bet. But I was bigger one that I was on the wrong end of.

(Car crashing flipping over and skidding around the ground)

JONNY: I always through that in that type of situation I’d give as good as I’d get. That I was the kind a’ guy who went down swinging. And its tough when you learn yourself yer not it makes you wonder other things you believed to be true about you.

(car crashing sound)

(Gun fire, cars driving, bullet proof car pinging sound)

(gun fire missing, Joker firing his own pistol)

JONNY: One look at the storm made me realize I was in way over my head. They where cops. Off-duty. Put on a pall roll. The one I was…could be…on my self. The time Dent  mentioned had come.

(running by joker, more gun fire)

JONNY: They say there’s no honor among thieves.I guess that’s true but is that exclusive to thieves.

.(joker starts firing his empty gun)

(Some sort of batman music)

DITY COP: I’d say yer under arrest…if you were….heh

(gun shot!, body falling)

JONNY: Dent wouldn’t be happy, I knew that. And I cared about it.his time came…for me…and it passed.

(Joker chuckling in the back ground. Early morning sounds (birds chirping and what not) foot steps,

JONNY: I didn’t get much sleep that night. After I saved his life, Joker couldn’t stop laughing.

(blood dripping)

JONNY: Really couln’t stop laughing so hard he was choking, like he was gonna…so hard his face with red, and his eyes got wet. I swear It was coming straight from his lungs. Real dry, no spit at all. Just a cough maybe that’s all he was doin’….coughin’.

(add correct sounds to the panels)

JONNY: Harvey Dent was the rackets in Gotham. From fruit stands to oyster bars. He got taste. The price of doing business was doing it with him. We—I mean joker—deiced to raise that price. I woulda said dent is dead. End of story.

(Pills being shaken in bottle)

JONNY: Joker. Though, wasn’t looking for an ending. I didn’t get that. He say in a chair for days and didn’t get up. We did what we did, but he didn’ move…for days. We made Gotham a toilet…an Joker sat in it.

(Phone ringing, then getting picked up)

JOKER: Hello?….Why Harvey….sucks to be you doesn’t it?…or does it? I never know who it is I’m talking to…..yes you’re right. We do need to talk….face to face..

((google monkey with red but later) Scream)

JOKER: …To face.

(some sort of night zoo noises)

HARVEY: We both agree, things got out of hand….it is the way it is. There’s no using any blame either. Its all about egos with men in our position silights are taken where none were meant, isn’t that right?…..you going to answer me?

JOKER: What?…oh mu mistake…I though you were talking to yourselves Harvey.

HARVEY: You’re not funny Joker.

JOKER: Really? And here I though the point of this little Têtê- à- Têtê-à Têtê. Was because I’m a regular roit.

HARVEY: The point is to reach an understanding

JOKER: Two make a deal Harvey?

HARVEY: Exactly

JOKER: Hmm…there’s a problem…

HARVEY: We should be willing to work that out

JOKER: Willing ain’t gonna cut it….try begging. That wasn’t meant to be funny…. I mean to have what’s mine Harvey.

HARVEY: And what the hell is that?

JOKER: I’m asking for it

HARVEY: Goddamn right you are! Isn’t he….Mr.Frost

JOKER: You know the Harvey’s, Jonny Jonny?

HARVEY: We’ve met. Didn’t he tell you? What a surpise

JONNY: Shelly?….My wife

JOKER: You didn’t tell me you were married….but then neither did you Harvey.

HARVEY: Ha Ha. I’ve been married for years—

JOKER: I wasn’t talking to you—I was talking to you. There’s a lot of things people in our position can get away with…murder…being one…wives ain’t two of them. Bigamy is like tax evasion. Once a prosecutor has a crime he can try in the public eye….i don’t need to explain myself further to you two do i?

HARVEY: No. Joker ‘course you don’t. I’ll admit, It’s embrassing for me…

TWO-FACE: But what can you do? Loves a funny thing.

HARVEY: Funnier than you’ll ever be. I kow there was always a chance this could happen…

TWO-FACE: That his happiness compromised out best intrests.

HARVEY: So I made certain it couldn’t. I have a man on speed dial will make everything  in that case there disappear.

(swiping, and slight slicing sound

HARVEY: Ah, ah, ah—naughty naughty

JOKER: Naughty?..like you got room to talk.

HARVEY: What the—what the hell did you do to me?!

JOKER: Not much…yet

(Guns being rasied, Tommy gun shots and people dying)

JOKER: I’m through monking around. You want to tell me about what’s funny? You think either of you can make me laugh? Beg I’ll tell you what’s funny—that you think this is about money. I don’t care about money

(red butt monkey scream)

JOKER: I use it. How’s that for funny, Two-face? Or should I call you…no face. You like that name? I think its pretty good, got a real ring  to it—I think it could actually do you both some good..

(slicing of face with glass)

JOKER: Hands off the merchandise

(monkey pained scream)

JOKER: You are my cash register now. Got it? And one more thing…. (whispers form Joker)

JOKER: I wanted to keep this about your indiscretion Harvey….you made it personal not me.

(walking away)

JOKER: Jonny Jonny…get your lady

(sobbing in the back ground)

JOKER: Croc…Drive her wherever. Give her some money.

KILLER CROC: How much?

JOKER: Whatever it was worth. that makes us even, no?…..Jonny Jonny, lets stay out tonight

(make it sound like its on a security camera)

JOKER: Grab me some brown Liquor

(fire breathing sound effect)

JOKER: I’m in the mood for brown liquor. What about you, Jonny Jonny? What are you in the mood for?

JONNY: Ah….

JOKER: Name it—take it….its my sandbox. And you’re in it with me.

JONNY: Yes I was. In it with Joker. Where I’d wanted to be…until I wasthere

(lock getting picked)

JOKER: Shhh

JONNY: What are we doing?

JOKER: I said SHUT UP!

Old Woman: Carl—someones here!

CARL: Wha?

JONNY: Who are these people?

JOKER: Who….cares>

JONNY: I knew then, I was crazy to want to be like Joker…

(a older couples scream of terror, Joker laughter)

JONNY: Because he was right—he wasn’t crazy.

JOKER: You know what I hate. Jonny Jonny?

JONNY: Everything

JOKER: My, My…is it you’ve learned a lot…or you’re smater then you look? And by the by. I’m not saying you’re right. You are close I’ll give you that Why do you hate youself?

JONNY: I…

JOKER: –don’t kid a kidder

JONNY: Sorry

JOKER: Didn’t I tell you never to apologize?

JONNY: Yeah

JOKER: Then Don’t

JONNY: You don’t get it, Joker…I am sorry

JOKER: I can’t think of a worse way to di. And I know all the bad ways inside and

out. My Friend…Jonny Jonny….what i hate more than everything is  apologies.

JONNY: That confession…form a man who never confessed…it killed me.

(thud, landing on a building top, foot steps)

HARVEY: Please….you have to stop him…he said…he said he figured out a way t

Murder one of us

BATMAN: Us?

TWO-FACE: Us. Not you.

(starts sobbing)

HARVEY: He’s going to murder one of us.

(Car driving, put gasp and breaking windo in where its right)

JOKER: Want to hear something funny? When I was….gone, I met a man obsessed

With Driving a car around the world in one day. He swore up and down he could it

and he tired To many times, form what I understand. At the end of those failed days…he’d sit on the side of the Road cursing his bad luck. Eventually, a good Samaritan would stop.. after slaughtering the Samaritan—and anyone else with the Samaritan—like his wife, children—he’d put them in his car, set it on fire, and drive off in theirs. Then he’d fill up the tank and wait on the sun, so he could try to drive around the world again.

JONNY: He never made it?

JOKER: No, he was…gone. But that’s not the point.

JONNY: There is one I’m assuming.

JOKER: so you don’t get it, Jonny Jonny? He blamed the cars for his failures. It never crossed his mind that what he believed he could do was impossible I admire that. I really do. Drive Jonny Jonny

(Car driving, Joker panicking)

JOKER: That sonofabitch…

JONNY: Who? I don’t get it…

JOKER: Of course not—he doesn’t have a funny broken bone in his body. Oh but he’s got his hands on the rug Jonny. Everything—he’s let me…we have to get off the rug…

JONNY: What rug?

JOKER: goddammit—can’t you feel it slipping away?!

JONNY: Truth be told I wasn’t feeling anything at all. It was as if, though my hands were on the wheel, I was just along for the ride. Things where moving that way for me. And then…Croc’s door was ajar when we got there and then…Joker pushed it open. But he didn’t want to. And then….i got it..

(batman growl/laugh)

JONNY: When we heard the laugh….or was it a growl? Then I felt the tug on the rug  feeling that I hoped….it was above the one I was already on. We ran Joker setting the streets on fire, dragging me-spitting and screaming through tears.

(with the running, Molotov cocktails breaking and bunring, Jonny laughter in the back ground)

JOKER: THIS BELONGS TO ME!

JONNY: Joker I mean. i was laughing.

JONNY: hehehehehehe

(bitch slap!)

JOKER: SHUT UP!

(body hitting the ground)

JOKER: Un…god…you disgust me. You have no charm at all, just…obviousness. Dumb dull….disappointing obvious. Shame on you.

(wooshing batarang, hitting Joker forehead, what ever that sounds like)

JOKER: AH…ha.. Obvious….and everybody knows it. You wear your shame like a badge, because you don’t have the balls to actually pin one on. Yes…just look at you…desperate to be feared, you want to perceived as a monster, draped in black. And yet…you leave that little window….a glimpse of perfection underneath. Obvious—the chisled good looks—not the jaw, the mouth of a monster…why do you let it be seen? Tell me why.

BATMAN: To mock you.

JOKER: RRRRAAA—NOOOOOOO!

(gun shot through the neck, more gun shots, sounds of fighting)

JONNY: My name is Jonny Frost, but I don’t have to tell you that do i? you know I’m somebody…I’m on top of the world, looking down. You know what I see? Do you want to know what I see?…i see you. a Disease.  One that has been around longer than Gotham, the city infected. A disease that’s older  than any city. Hell its probably the same disase that built the frist one. There will always be a Joker. Because there’s no cure for him. No cure at all. Just a batman.